Twaddle & Twak

Rants, Raves and Everything Else!

Shattered Soul February 28, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — natalian @ 7:20 am

I have had a tough week and a half, processing an event that shook me to my core.  Although this person was not a constant in my life, I knew him and his family.  Some of us have met such tragedy before but I have never had to face it.  So, in my way, however badly it is written, I dealt with it like this: –


You left the African sun to seek a better life.

What you were met with was obstacles which led to personal strife.

Is that when you soul cracked?


You returned cold.

The African sun could not warm your heart.

Is this when your soul broke?


Your family and friends could not reach you.

An empty shell.

Why did you take your life?


Left with the madness of unanswered questions,

Grieving the tragedy and loss,

The day your soul shattered…


When Saying Goodbye Is Hard To Do. February 19, 2009

Filed under: Immigration,South Africa — natalian @ 6:29 pm
Tags: ,

Many South Africans seem to be searching for their Utopian Dream.  A place where garden lasers and security systems don’t have to be switched on before turning off the lights and they can sleep without worry.  A place where they feel their children have a future and they can grow old.  The crime statistics here in South Africa are high, our current government are starting to show cracks as the old order retire and the new ‘cadre’s’ start taking control.  There are too many instances of fund mismanagement and corruption is starting to seep from under the parliamentary doors.  Many question where this will leave us in the years to come and many like to predict a future very much like Zimbabwe’s.

It is with this in mind that the United Kingdom, Australia and New Zealand, amoung other countries,  are seen as their salvation. 

Today I have a heavy heart.  This weekend I am to attend a farewell party of a close friend who has made the decision to immigrate. This is not like the 1990’s when many of  our friends were going overseas for work experience, where we knew that they would return at least once a year for a holiday and eventually they would return home… maybe?  This farewell party is just that, a finale to having the pleasure of a friends reachable company.  No more long phone calls, late Friday glasses of wine, dinners out and birthday parties. 

How do you conduct yourself at a farewell party?  Smile? Cry? Pretend it’s just like any other party and go into denial?

Either way I think waterproof mascara may be in order.


An Interview… February 18, 2009

Filed under: Meme,Uncategorized — natalian @ 8:19 am

 I decided, after reading Charlotte’s interview, that it would be fun to participate in the “Interview Meme”. The rules are as follows:

1. If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment, and I will send you some questions.
2. Update your blog with the answers to the questions and link back to the original post.
3. Include the rules in your post.

Now that I have completed the admin here are Charlotte’s questions and my answers.

The Interview

1. Tell us how you met your husband, and what made you think, “He’s the one.”

I met my husband at a very young age, (17 yrs to be exact).  My family and I were living in KwaZulu-Natal and I was just about to write my trial exams for Matric when some girlfriends of mine decided that we needed one last bash before we hit the books.  On the way to the club, I was informed by one of the girls slightly older boyfriend, that he would really like me to meet his friend that evening.  I demanded to be taken home!  Firstly, I was so over the whole boyfriend thing, I had my exams to write with a view to attend Stellenbosch Uni, in the Western Cape, the following year and I needed to keep my head clear!  My girlfriend turned around and told me to stop being so intense, enjoy the evening and have a ‘one night stand for once in my life’.  So I decided to be a little more carefree although I knew it was against my nature.  We walked into the club and found our group of friends, when I saw this guy standing to one side, appearing shy.  As he looked up the strobe light from the dance floor reflected into his grey/blue eyes and I was mesmerised!  I remember thinking that my girlfriends could keep their ‘friend’ that they wanted me to meet as I was wanting to know more about this shy guy.  Turns out, he was the friend I was suppose to meet.  I went with my heart and ignored my head.  How did I know he was the one? Besides the initial physical attraction, we spoke about everything, we are polar opposites when it comes to personality but where one has weakness the other has strength and this allows us to balance each other.  The real test of our relationship was, when after dating for only 6 months, I was informed by my family that I would have to reject my place in Stellenbosch and ‘consider’ studying at the University of the Free State as my father was transferred to a tiny town in that region and financially it would be more viable.  Once a month my very new boyfriend on the meagre salary of an article clerk would drive to visit me.  We wrote and we phoned each other every night at 8pm.  After my year of severe culture shock in the province of the Free State, I begged my father to allow me transfer to the University of Natal to complete my degree.  Afterall, I had found the One!  So there you have it, my one night stand ended up being a happily ever after!

2. Do you have a dream city to visit and why is that one?

I have been lucky enough to visit a few cities on my ‘must experiance’ list.  The one that has eluded me and I still dream of visiting is ANYWHERE in Ireland.  I believe that Dublin is something to experience but I do see myself more rural should I ever be able to set foot in the ‘land of the green and the gray’.  I think the attraction for me to visit this country is based in it’s folklore, music and the fact that there is a family connection. 

3. Living in a house full of men. Discuss.

There is whole lot of ‘yang energy’ going on in my household and as I am the only female in the home it falls on my shoulders to try and balance the three men in my life.  An exhausting task.  I don’t think there is much difference between a house full of men or a house full of women, it may be a little more highly charged and naturally interests may vary.  Sport takes preference in our home as we have every ball, bat and racket to suit a range of sports.  If one of the boys requires another bike, trike or scooter we will have to park our cars outside to accommodate their ‘wheels’ in our garage!   Thankfully my Hubby is a fabulous Dad and very involved, so they play all the ball games together, ride bikes and he takes Eldest for his weekly visit to the skate park.  I try and bring their energy down a bit by encouraging them to sit still for a few minutes and read, draw or build puzzles.  Eldest doesn’t like to sit still for long and it is yet to be seen which way Wee Ones interests will develop.   The men in my home require attention and lots of it, leaving me to my own devices to  read, paint or blog is unheard of and at times I find challenging!   However, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

4. If Nigella Lawson (or any other cook whose recipe books you like) were to cater your birthday party, what three things would you demand that she made for you?

If ANYBODY would just cook for me that would be a treat in itself!  I love watching Nigella on BBC Food as she effortlessly ‘throws’ together a few ingredients to make a scrumptious meal!  (I always wonder if she does her own washing up afterwards?)  If I had Nigella catering my birthday meal I would hate to tell her what to cook for me as I think the whole point would be for me to taste something that I would not ordinarily eat.  But I would give guidelines as firstly I am allergic to fish and shellfish and would be very disappointed if that made its way under my nose.  So for starters she can have carte blanche and for my main course I would like to see what she could do with a well aged steak.  Now, for dessert I do have a special request, I saw her make this on the telly and have been dreaming about it ever since.  Molten Chocolate Babycakes – the way she took them out the oven and dipped her spoon into the pud with this dark chocolate oozing out still puts me in a happy place and I would love to try them.  As a special request, as I really have given her alot of free rein with my birthday meal, I wish to have a mug of her homemade hot chocolate to take to bed and sip while reading my book.  Oh!  And somebody better do the dishes!

5. If you were given a day to spend by and for yourself, not taking the needs of others into account ONCE, what would you do?

As it is a full day by myself, and for myself,  I will take full advantage of the 24 hours of ME TIME!  After I put the kids down for the night I shall drive myself to either the Berg or the Midlands, (here in KZN), armed with a good book, oil paints, canvas, sketch pad and pencils to a quaint, quite little establishment so that I may wake up peacefully in my own time.  I will have breakfast at a leisurely pace, sip my latte and take in the view.  For the rest of the morning, depending on how I am feeling, I may sketch or paint. (I have an idea for a canvas going on in my head and have been unable to begin it – very annoying!) I will paint or sketch without interruption and a light snack will magically appear at lunchtime.  After I have satisfied by creative drive, I will retire to my bed with a book and my favourite Lindt choccies and hopefully mother nature will play the game in this little fantasy and gives me the almighty rains that fall in this area in the afternoons.  Snuggle up!  After a nap, I am sure to have, I will enjoy an unrushed dinner in peace accompanied by a fruity Pinotage.  The night will be a relaxing wind down to my day, with a deep bubble bath, a warm herbal tea and back into bed to read to my hearts content till I fall asleep when the book hits the floor. (And at this point the lights will magically turn off!)

Thanks Charlotte for your exciting questions, I enjoyed answering them!


Love is …. Chocolate For Breakfast! February 13, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — natalian @ 5:38 am

Remember being a teenager with your first crush?   I remember mine well.  A short, baby-faced boy named Robert who played the male lead role in all my daydreams and was the main reason I went to school that year.  Like any other teenager Robert was fighting the same hormonal cocktail we all were, oily hair and  pimples that seemed to invade your face for space overnight!  Now, if another boy, who I did not have this ‘ soul connection’ with, tried to make a move on me I would have shot him down immediately for the same things I was willing to overlook in my precious love, Robert. 

Looking back, I wish I could have taught the ‘young me’ some of  the lessons I have learnt regarding love. 

Firstly, I should always respect myself first, knowing how to look after me would ensure that I would never accept anything less from anybody else.

Secondly, if I was willing to accept the shortcomings of my significant other then I had to learn to accept mine. 

Thirdly, I needed to stop looking to others to make me feel loved and validated, only I could validate myself and by doing so would be able to love others without emotional dependency.

Lastly, your first kiss is never as good as the one you fantasized about!

So this Valentines Day, I am not going to be a slave to the card trade, I will not wait for Hubby to arrive home bearing roses, (he never does, but boy would he score brownie points if he just brought home some Lindt truffles now and then!), but  I am going to love my little family the same way I do everyday …  except we may have chocolate for breakfast!




How Gullible Do You Think I Am? February 6, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — natalian @ 6:09 am

I apologise in advance for this trivial post about an item which is probably not acceptable to talk about.  I am always interested in how products are marketed to the consumer and as we all know Christmas is the launchpad for new and fantastic products that we all just have to have!

During last years festive season, while doing my LAST Christmas shop till the New Year, I came across “Christmas Toilet Paper – Infused with the scent of Cranberries”.  I kid you not!  It is amazing how suddenly we all seem to have to smell berries, cinnamon and pine during the month of December.  I looked briefly and thought it had gold print on the ‘festive roll’ and then glanced at the price! Mmm, about R25 more than my normal brand, no thanks, I’ll stick to basic white!  Somehow I didn’t feel the need to be that festive in my bathroom.  Shaking my head I pushed on through the masses chuckling to myself!  Festive Loo Paper indeed!

In January, any unsold Christmas goodies get marked down as they try and convince us that we really do need to carry on eating Christmas Mince Pies and Candy Canes till Easter, as if we haven’t had enough!  Wheeling my shopping cart down the aisle I was ‘amazed’ (note my sarcasm), that the Festive Toilet Rolls were on special – even cheaper than my usual brand and as we are all well aware of the credit crunch, a bargain is a bargain!

What a bloody disappointment!  Firstly, on closer inspection the ‘gold print’ is only on the packaging, it really is the retailers normal brand of toilet paper.  Secondly, the “Infused Cranberries” is the scented cardboard tube on which the basic white 2 ply is wound!  The only way you can catch a whiff of the ‘festive berry scent’ is if you are really desperate, pull the roll off your toilet roll holder and give  it a good sniff!

Thankfully, I didn’t purchase this ‘festivity’ at it’s overinflated price but it still makes me wonder how gullible retailers think we are!


Imparting 10 Things I Know… February 2, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — natalian @ 10:00 am

I have been tagged by Charlotte  to impart some of my aphorisms under the heading 10 Things I Know.  To impart some of my life wisdom in just a few words could prove difficult for me, but here it goes in 10.

  1. Sleep Deprivation will render you useless and short tempered.
  2. A woman is the corner stone of her home, if she crumbles so does everyone else.
  3. Husbands and wives need to put each others needs  first – if we did that we would have nothing to complain about.
  4. Age is a number, keep your soul young!
  5. To be comfortable in your own skin you need to stay true to yourself .
  6. Spend time with yourself.
  7. Connect with people who make you truly laugh – its uplifting.
  8. Speak your mind but be willing to take the criticism that may follow.
  9. Be open to always learn from others.
  10. Putting your pride aside and being humble can give you a whole new perspective on a situation.

Mission, um…, tag completed!