Twaddle & Twak

Rants, Raves and Everything Else!

My Fear. My Shame. August 20, 2008

Filed under: South Africa — natalian @ 8:24 am
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I had fallen into a false sense of security.  I have ignored what has been going on around me and tried to focus on my day to day living.  Unfortunately the reality of living here in South Africa hit me a few days ago.  My actions both scared and embarrassed me.

After doing a marathon run of shopping in a local shopping mall, I was making my way towards my car with Wee One in the pram, packets hanging off the handles and my car keys in my hand.  As I approached my car I noticed a gentleman leaning against a car near mine, talking on his cellphone.  I looked around and not one security guard was in sight.  My breath caught in my throat and I felt extremely uneasy.  I walked in the opposite direction and then made my way back to my car.  He was still there, just leaning on the car.

If you are reading this in another country you may say, “So what?”  I would agree with you but in light of current events in our province, shopping malls have become prime targets for hijackings, and me, with my shopping and baby would be a soft target as my back would be turned as I strapped Wee One into his car seat.  It is like I have been conditioned by circumstance to constantly be vigilant and question situations that appear out of the ordinary. 

I walked away again and found a security guard who I asked to please accompany me to my car as I unpacked my shopping, folded up the pram and put Wee One into his car seat.  I was honest and told him that there was no security guards in the section where I had parked and I was scared of hijacking.

Driving away from the shopping mall I felt both scared and ashamed.  Scared because I may have been right in my assumption.  I believe that one must listen to your inner voice and mine was screaming at me. Scared at my own actions, at what I have become.   I was also ashamed as that gentleman could have been waiting at his car for his wife to return from doing her shopping and who was I to view him as a potential hijacker?

Living in South Africa has made me extremely risk adverse, suspicious and distrusting.  I am SAFA-rised and I am sorry.


Feeding the Soul! August 14, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — natalian @ 1:53 pm

It’s been a long week.  Wee One started with an ear and throat infection and this has resulted in a baby who is not himself and a mother who is definitely not herself due to lack of sleep and time!

My house is being invaded by the dust bunnies and my ironing pile is slowly starting to look like the “Leaning Tower of Pisa”.  What is a girl to do? 

Today I finally got Wee One to have his morning nap in his cot and not on my shoulder and enjoyed my few moments of freedom as I ran down the stairs to my kitchen.  Should I put in a load of washing, pack away the toys or wash this morning breakfast dishes.  “No!” I decided it was time for me to actually eat breakfast but what did I feel like on my slice of toast? 

As I whipped the cupboard door open there it was literally offering me everything I needed to pick myself up out of my funk…. a box with the catch line “Happiness in a box”.  Man, could I do with a little bit of that I thought, but it was only 9 o’ clock in the morning…

I didn’t ponder this too long, took the box, tore off the clear cellophane and thanked God that my Eldest was at school so he couldn’t see his mother breaking her own rules.  Lifting the lid, there they were,beautiful, round chocolates!  I sat flat on my lounge rug and indulged myself in a few, or many, of those delicious endorphine boosting morsels!

It wasn’t long when Wee One let out a yowl but I bounced up the stairs instead of dragging myself!  You see, although I believe in healthy eating for a healthy body sometimes one has to feed the soul…. Now if only I can find that box I was given for Mother’s Day….


When my heart breaks…. August 8, 2008

Filed under: Motherhood — natalian @ 5:07 pm

Today I experienced a ‘growing pain’ of being a mother. 

Eldest has been psyched the whole week for his first ever ‘sports day’ at his school.  He donned his takkies yesterday evening to go run in the garden and practice his’races’.  He kept telling me how fast he was going to run, and I kept telling him to just do his best.

This morning he was awake at 4am, already excited to go to school.  When I arrived to watch him take part in his sports day all the mom’s who had dropped their little ones off this morning kept telling me how Eldest was doing streatches and warming up for his race in his classroom.

Like the proud Mom that I am, I postioned myself at the finishing line, camera poised to take a picture of him running ‘fast like a Superhero’.  As the child infront of him ran towards the finishing line I saw my little boy hunched over and crying, he was next to run but made no effort to walk towards the starting line.  Running towards him, I knelt down and queried his behaviour.  “Mommy he hurt me.”

The local class bully had already left the starting blocks and I was left to try salvage my son’s damaged pride.  The teachers all assumed that he was too scared to run but I knew that this event was what he was longing for all week.  Hubby was up on the stands watching from above and saw how our child had beanbags thrown into his face but was too far away to do anything.

Today we felt powerless and our hearts shattered.

I was proud that he managed the courage to overcome his hurt feelings and take his place at the starting blocks for his race.  I positioned myself once again at the finishing line and as he crossed it, I cheered, my eyes brimming with tears and the camera hanging by my side.

In a way it was representative of what I think parents have to do with their kids.  We can’t be there to fight their battles, we can’t protect them always, but when they are down and hurt we are able to wipe away their tears, love them and give them the words of encouragement they need to go back into the starting blocks and take part in the race of everyday life.


Achoo! Cough! Splutter! August 2, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — natalian @ 7:38 am

It has been a week of tissues and paracetamol until I could finally drive myself to my Homeopath, only to be given a remedy called “Flu Rid” which tastes like liquid Vicks!  No wonder it’s called ‘Flu Rid’ it tastes so bad I think the virus has decided to pack it’s bags and find a new home!

As I am fairly new at blogging and still trying to figure out how to ‘tag’ and link’, I am going to try and do my first Meme.  Writing anything right now would take more energy than I have, so answering a few questions seems like more fun! This Meme I read on Charlotte’s Web called Forty Things Surprise.   Here goes!

1. My uncle once: was a mercenary. Only found out that scary fact after he passed on to the next realm.

2. Never in my life: have I been to Ireland.

3. When I was five: I wanted to live in our apple tree at the end of our garden.

4. High school was: a lesson in being true to myself.

5. I will never forget: the smells of Sunday Roasts at my Grandma’s.

6. Once I met: the tallest man in the world, (well he was in 1986).

7. There’s this girl I know: who is an amazing friend .

8. Once, at a bar: I had my first fight with my first ‘real’ boyfriend.

9. By noon, I’m usually: putting Wee One into his car seat to go and pick up Eldest from school.

10. Last night: I was curled up in bed, coughing.

11. If only I had: a time machine – I’d never be late! “Beam me up Scottie”!

12. Next time I go to church: Mmmm .

13. What worries me most: is the future of my family.

14. When I turn my head left I see: a my veranda with my veranda furniture, begging for an evening of wine, braai and good conversation to be held on it.

15. When I turn my head right I see: my kitchen and a beautiful Saturday morning.

16. You know I’m lying when: I don’t do that regularly enough to know what I do.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: Good Music and Monster Munch chips( the original flavour).

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Puck, he was my Matric Mascot. Midsummer Nights Dream was the theme for my wedding – strange I know!

19. By this time next year: I will be either still be living here or somewhere else.

20. A better name for me would be: My mother nearly called me Lydia.  That was a close call so I’ll stick to the one my father gave me, thanks.

21. I have a hard time understanding: lack of tolerance.

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: work harder at Art.

23. You know I like you if: I make an effort.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: My Parents.

25. Take my advice, never: mix Champagne with Becherovka, the night before going sightseeing in Heidelberg.

26. My ideal breakfast is: cooked by my Hubby.

27. A song I love but do not have is: all the songs on Joshua Tree – U2.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: go on a few wine tastings.  Backsberg Pinotage is still a favourite of mine!

29. Why won’t people: respect others religion, culture and property?

30. If you spend a night at my house: Wine, Braai and noisy boys.  Good Conversation required till the wee hours ending with a good mug of something warm to drink and bed! Breakfast cooked by Hubby.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: are you kidding, it took Hubby 5 years to trip down the aisle fantastic with me.

32. The world could do without: I have a long list, my top three, Intolerance, Pollution, Greed.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat one. “Jeebies!”

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: I know only one and I miss her madly, my niece in the UK.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: Staples.

36. If I do anything well it’s: Procrastinate.

37. And by the way: I am allergic to all fish and seafood.

There did it!  Hope these links work!

Have a fabulous day!  Hug your kids madly, fall in love with your significant other all over again and eat something deliciously sinful!