His Name Is Luka And He Lives In a Salad Bowl! November 22, 2009

It’s the end of the year, and quite honestly I am tired of kiddies birthday parties!  My humblest apologies to all those who are born in the last few months of the year but my enthusiasm, and there was very little to begin with, has waned!

Eldest is still at the age where moms are required to attend these birthday parties. The worst party time for me is the Friday afternoon!  This is when Wee One generally needs his afternoon nap and taking an overstimulated 2-year-old to a party is a nightmare!  While I run around, trying to stop him from climbing to the top of the jumping castle or shoving more than one sweet in his mouth, the other mothers sit in their little groups, sipping tea and complimenting the hostess on her fabulous cake.   I constantly clock watch, waiting for each half hour to pass so that I can smile at the mothers, say goodbye and make sure my child thanks the hostess for the lovely party.   By the end of the two-hour party, I generally leave dragging one child behind me and holding  the youngest in a vice like grip, looking like I had the party of my life! 

When that time arrived on Friday I gathered up my troops and sent  Eldest off to do the ‘polite routine’ by thanking the party mom.

These days something called a ‘party pack’ has been accepted as normal party etiquette, although I totally disagree with this practice.  Each child is given a bag or box of goodies on departure to continue the gorge fest when they get home, much to the joy of the mother who already has her offspring buzzing on a sugar high.  So you can imagine my joy when he emerged with his ‘loot box’ of chocolates and sweets!  Imagine my horror when it was accompanied by a clear plastic bag filled with water and a goldfish swimming around in it!!!

I kid you not!  Each child was sent home with a real live goldfish!  My son was overjoyed!  If I’d known that we would be receiving this parting gift I would have made a quick and impolite exit down the road!

My son has named him Luka and as I was totally unprepared for the new addition to our family, my salad bowl has had to suffice as our gold fellow’s first home.

Can We “CTRL ALT DEL” August Please? September 1, 2009

Helloooo!!!  Anybody still there??? 

Here on the East Coast we could not have asked for a better day to welcome Spring, there was a slight touch of the humidity that drains many of us of our energies in the summer months and for the first time in weeks we could sit outside under the setting sun and watch our two boys run around in the garden.  With the promise of summer on the horizon and the heady scent of jasmine floating in through my windows I am finally in the right space to blow the dust off my keyboard!

I do have good reasons for being scarce, to be quite honest we could just ‘ctrl alt del ‘ August right off my annual calender!  Ever heard of the “Butterfly Effect”?  Well I attribute the chain of events that befell my lot squarely on the shoulders of Hubby!  From the moment he attempted the 90 degree drop  ramp into the bowlrider (which looks like a big empty swimming pool) at the local skateboard park and crack fractured his elbow my title of Domestic Goddess has been seriously tested by the men in my home!

As I just started getting used to my new job function, that of chauffeuring Hubby to work and back, I had to try and be the plumber/washing machine expert as well!  Please lets forgive our brothers who take on this ungodly task of bending under counters to turn in pipes etc, the plumbers crack is truly difficult to cover up, I’ve been there and will hold back my snigger’s from now on!  Bring on the one piece overalls!  Despite my best efforts and that of “Danny”, resident expert in washing machine repairs, my poor little washing machine could wash, rinse and spin no longer.  With jarring financial pain we had to replace him with a younger model who sounds like a jet plane during the spin cycle and beeps when the wash is finished, he even came with a name - “Maxx” which is printed in bright red on the front!

Finally life looked like it was going to move to a more normal biorhythm, as Hubby prepared to drive himself once more to and from work, (after four weeks), Eldest woke up with a temp and a dry cough.  Just as I resigned being a chauffeur I had to sign up and be Florence Nightingale.  For 3 days I took temperatures, ensured an increase in liquid intake and monitored for any signs of the dreaded ’swine flu’.  By Friday evening my Eldest was the picture of good health, well almost if one ignored the barking cough, and I prepared the children for bed, looking forward to night of relaxed sleep.  Hubby handed Wee One to me straight from his bath, he felt about as hot as cookies fresh from the oven!  Taking his temperature I looked in horror as it beeped 38.6! 

Saturday morning he woke up with a temperature of 39.6 and I knew that a relaxing weekend was shot to hell.  Eldest had passed his throat infection to his brother and on a weekend when Doctors go to their holiday homes next to trout dams up in the mountains and turn their phones to voice mail!!!   Lets just say that when Wee One finally turned a corner on Tuesday I felt like I had been dragged behind a car.  I had less than 3 hours sleep in 3 days, Wee One insisted on lying on my chest and he is not a petite build, my whole body ached!  By the end of the week he appeared to be on the up, just in time for my moms birthday weekend!  The boys seemed well and I sat  that Sunday breathing a sigh of relief …

That night Wee One was restless and Eldest started his croupy cough again.  Monday could not have been bluer, Eldest’s temperature had returned like a phoenix and Wee One’s ears had become inflamed as a secondary infection due to his prior throat infection.  Even Hubby looked sorry for me when he went off to work.  So back to the Doc we went and the ‘road to health’ started again. By Wednesday I kicked Eldest off to school and Friday Wee One followed suit.  “Why send a child to school for only one day?” you may ask. 

My sons decided to ‘thank’ me for all my nose wiping efforts and gave me the viral love which had dominated my life for nearly 3 weeks!!!  Mom deserved a morning to curl up under the duvet and feel sorry for herself! 

I hung my “Supermom” uniform behind the bathroom door, put on my dressing gown and grabbed a box of tissues, the ironing would have to wait…

Hop Hop Hop!!! April 4, 2009

Our schools have closed for the Easter Holidays but not before they filled our children’s little minds with hopping Easter Bunnies and chocolate eggs!  We have been sent home Easter masks, baskets and other arts and crafts just to ensure that the Easter spirit does not wane in our household!

Every night, for the past two weeks as I kissed my Eldest goodnight, he would try to engage me in another one of his sneaky schemes to ‘trick’ the Easter Bunny!  Every now and then he has a surge of excitement that tonight is the magical night when the Easter Bunny will make his appearance and we have to dash his hopes by informing him that the Easter Bunny is still very busy making chocolate eggs for the boys and girls of the world.

It was with this realisation that I, mother of the household aka Father Christmas and my current future role of Easter Bunny had to dash off to the shops to stock up on our Easter eggs, rather today than next Saturday!  So, as I type, my little secret stash of chocolate eggs is safely hidden away, the pressure is off!  Or is it?

My sons have inherited a most hideous gene called an ‘early riser’ from my husbands double helix!  Thankfully,  Hubby pays for his sins and gets up with the team at the unearthly hour of 5:30am allowing moi an extra hour of ‘zuzz’ time before the smell of java pulls me from my slumber.  However, this year I have to break the pattern and awaken with the sparrows as I ‘hop’ around the garden, in a half asleep state,  finding good hiding places for the precious choccie eggs!  I have heard that some Easter Bunnies hide their eggs before they go to sleep at night but unfortunately for me this is not an option due to a troop of monkeys that use our garden as part of their morning stroll!  Can you imagine the drama?  Monkeys whooping with joy as they swoop down from the trees, collecting the chocolate eggs, ripping them open and gorging themselves leaving my boys to wake up to a multicoloured lawn of just shiny papers?  An Easter nightmare!

So next Sunday morning, while you are all tucked up in bed, think of those who will be up at the crack of dawn keeping dream of the Easter Bunny and his chocolate eggs alive!

To Sink Or Swim March 19, 2009

My Eldest son, from the age of 3, has expressed a deep need to skateboard and surf.  Now before you start thinking that he is trying to emulate his father let me just correct you on the offset, the last time Hubby took to the waves was when he was 15 years old! 

I like to encourage my kids to do what they express an interest in, although I must admit to watch my then 3 year old start skateboarding was a little taxing on my nerves and I left Hubby to control that department while I implemented the health and safety aspect by making him wear his  helmet and every knee and elbow pad!  I was defiantly told off by Eldest as he informed me that he was a ‘professional’ and that ‘professionals’ don’t wear helmets and protective padding!  To which I replied, “No helmet, no skateboard.”   Simple as that!

He is now nearly 5 years old and I must say due to his own determination and few ‘wipe outs’ he has managed to stay more on his board than off it!

Our next problem was his desire to start surfing.  As much as Eldest wanted to surf he was extremely phobic about putting his face in any type of water or getting his hair wet, this impacted any form of swimming lessons I tried to take him to, made hair washing an absolute nightmare, and therefore hindered his dream of surfing.  I kept feeling anxious that I had a child who was not water safe and had not learnt this essential life skill!  So I was ecstatic when I was able to get limited lessons with a swimming teacher who is known to get little people with water phobias to swim.  Although she felt the time may not be enough for Eldest I decided that something was better than nothing!  With her phenomenal personality and gentle yet firm approach she had Eldest ’swimming’ with no floatation devices and with his face, hair and ears all in the water by the second lesson!  I could have wept!  As much as I give this fantastic swim teacher her dues, I am also extremely proud of Eldest, who was determined to overcome his fear so he could start learning  how to surf. 

I know that there are many more milestones that lie ahead of us but I am really glad I can tick this one off my list!

Unwanted Receiving and Unwilling Giving January 1, 2009

The festive season has finally drawn to a close and quite honestly by December 31st, I was quite ready to see the back of 2008 and face what 2009 might hold.  Christmas is a time for giving and receiving and Hubby and I just kept on receiving after the 24th and I’m not referring to a gift like the green jersey your Aunty Mable might have knitted for you!  We also gave a gift we would rather not have given on the 28th!  Let me explain the chain of events.

On Christmas morning along with the gifts left under the tree we received, from Eldest, a fabulous throat infection with accompanying high fever!

On Boxing Day, December 26th, we received an immaculate world class fever, from Wee One, topping the scales at 40.6 degrees!

On December 27th, along with a sleepless night of Ibuprofen administration and tepid baths, Wee One started sporting a few spots.

On December 28th, after another night of much the same, my long suffering Homeopath opened his rooms for me on a Sunday to take a look at Wee One’s spots and it was confirmed, despite a costly vaccination, that Wee One had the Chicken Pox!

On the evening of December 28th we discovered that although we were receiving things we would rather not have we had also given a large monetary gift we would rather not have given – to a fraudster, resulting in our bank account reflecting a R12  000 total debit!  Yes, we were still in possession of our credit cards… they are so clever these days!

On the morning of December 29th, despite Wee One’s obvious improvement with his ‘pox’ marks and copious Bicarb baths, a strange rash was starting to appear on his face – we wrote it off to a heat rash – or should I say we hoped for a heat rash.

December 30th and I could no longer deny that said rash was growing from Wee One’s face to his knees and with bated breath I rode back to my Homeopath to have it confirmed that although his Chicken Pox were healing beautifully he had also started German Measles!

December 31st, I went to visit my Dad for his 60th birthday and on my way back, along the freeway, I had a front row seat to witness a full scale “Hollywood” style rifle shoot out between police and the occupants of a white bakkie!  Nothing like a bit of ‘Wild Wild West’ to end off the year!

Did I make midnight to see in the New Year?  What do you think?

Telling it like it is… October 13, 2008

Last week saw Eldest having to return to school for his last term of the year and he was having a little whine, while getting dressed, how he would rather stay at home.  So in an attempt to ‘psyche’ him up for his school term ahead I told him that this term was really exciting and that he would be learning about his town.  The school has organised various little outings to the Post Office, the Library, the Fire Station and for my big finale I exclaimed, ” A Policeman is going to come and visit you at your school!”

To which he exclaimed, “A Policeman! A Policeman! I haven’t seen a real Policeman before!”

I looked up at Hubby sitting in the kitchen spluttering into his cereal trying to hold in the laughter.

A few days later, while strapping him into his car seat, he exclaimed, “Mommy, a Policeman and a Policewoman came to visit our school today!”

I asked him if they came in their ‘Police Van’.

“Yes.” He replied disappointingly, ” But their siren was broken!”

In South Africa we have Policemen, but they are kept very busy and are rarely seen ‘walking the beat’.  One may see a Traffic Officer, but they are generally hiding in the bushes trying to catch speeding motorists.  The truth in Eldest’s innocent comment spoke volumes in the general feeling amongst us – we just don’t have enough of a Police presence or Police vehicles and evidently not enough with ‘working’ sirens!

As the saying goes, “Truth from the mouths of babes.”

Starting Blocks October 3, 2008

My little blessing arrived on October 3, 2007.  Wee One’s baby year has flown by and I have tried desperately to internalise every baby smile, giggle and yawn.  I always knew that there would be another little soul after Eldest but I didn’t realise that the time would go by so fast! Every time I have to pack away another set of baby clothes, that no longer fit, my heart aches!

Today, Wee One turns 1 Years Old.  He is slowly finding his feet and starting on his journey of life. 

Happy Birthday Wee One!     

Tread carefully.